With lots of anticipation, I’ve been eagerly waiting for the day when I will profess my vows to God, to live and follow Jesus in the Evangelical Counsels.  Now that the “big day” is right around the corner, I don’t feel so anxious.  I don’t have that Oh-My-God-It’s-Coming-To-An-End feeling anymore.  I suppose it is because I no longer see the novitiate as a disconnected program operating alongside from the regular formation program.  The novitiate is unique on its own indeed, but it is an indispensable part of the formation program as a whole.

And now that this segment of the never-ending formation program is coming to a close, I realize that the path my companions and I have been traveling on together is now coming to a diverging point.  Our Journey together will now come to a point where we go our separate divergent paths, yet heading together toward that same destination.

Two of my novitiate companions will continue their study to the priesthood.  Another is already ordained and will likely take the ministerial path immediately.  I will be off on my own path as a young Brother, studying and preparing for future ministry.  So our journey continues.  It doesn’t end here.  As much as I would like to dwell behind on this novitiate path, I realize I must move on so that others behind me can walk this path.  This path has been full of surprises, laughter, memories.  But if I do not move on, how can others experience these surprises, laughter, and memories.  And I expect that upon turning onto my own divergent path, I will find new surprises around the corner, fill my heart with laughter, and create new gleaming memories.

I realize that whenever our life journey brings us to a divergent point, we will feel sad leaving our straight green lushes path behind us, and making a daring decision to take a new path at the forked road.  We will feel some anxiety, even fear, for we don’t know what awaits us on our new path.  Yet, if we remain trusting and optimistic, I believe we will be able to overcome whatever challenges we find on our path.  Trust and Optimism will allow us to overcome difficulties, and will open our eyes to the beauty our new path has to offer.  Amidst the tall cedars on our path, we’ll discover new friends and companions for our journey.  Together we’ll race down the path toward new and exciting adventures, be it the great plains of Africa, or the mesmerizing rise of Mt. Fuji in Japan.  And together, we’ll take our time and dive into the diversity of cultures and people, be they of the indigenous people of Peru, or the coffee lovers in the cafes of Manhattan New York.  Whatever and whoever they may be, we’ll experience them all.

And it is with this joy and optimism that I am coming out of the novitiate experience.  I cannot wait to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell all that life has to offer me on this path I’m about to take.  Like the endless singing of birds on my forested path, I am confident, that God will be with me always, whispering like the wind, guiding me every step of the way.

My dear readers, let us pray for one another then.  That we may take courage on our path, confident that God is with us on the very path we walk, ever present in our traveling companions and in the breeze brushing on our skin.  Pray that we maybe not falter and lose sight of our journey.  And we pray for that optimism and trust; they will bring us to experience God wherever we go, in all that we meet, and all that we do.  May God bless us all, on this-our journey to Him.

 -Nathaniel Nguyen-

I apologize to my readers for my disappearance act.  A lot has happened since I last wrote.  My fellow Novices and I were accepted for profession of First Vows this coming August.  Before being accepted for Vows, we went through a rigorous process of evaluations (never a fun thing to do).  But through the whole ordeal, I was able to experience grace, and learned a lot about myself. 

I don’t think it is ever easy to be critiqued, no matter how constructive & gentle it maybe.  It is tiring having to sit there and have my friends and peers point out my weaknesses, areas needing improvement, and but of course, some of my strengths as well.  I also had to write a self evaluation, a deep and honest examination of myself.  These evaluations weren’t easy.  But I was honest and could sense that my friends and peers were genuine in critiquing me.  With a few years of experience doing these evaluations, plus with some help from above, I was able to go through the evaluation process learning valuable things about myself.  I took away from it challenges to improve upon, and confirmations of my gifts and talents.

I think it is very important that we take time out of our busy lives and evaluate ourselves.  We all need a little reflection, or as other would say, a little soul searching.  Soul searching is not simply looking for meanings in our lives.  WikiAnswer defines soul searching as “the act of facing one's inmost self with courage, determined to bring every ulterior thought, emotion, and motive to light.”  It is in this facing of our innermost selves that we discover who we are, and who God means for us to be.  And I don’t think we have to do our soul searching by ourselves either.  We have friends and dear ones who are honest and will help us face our inner selves.  The only criterion is that we are honest.  If we cannot be honest with ourselves, then how can we be honest with others?

I am glad my evaluation this year went well, and has helped me better understand myself and my calling to religious life.  I feel ever more compelled to continue this path, to follow after Jesus, and to transform my life in ways that reflect God’s love for the world.

With that, I am now coming to the end of my novitiate year.  In this past year in the Novitiate at Techny, many good memories have been made, smiles and laughter have been exchanged, and grace upon grace has been received.  And I cannot thank God and all who support me enough for the guidance, support, and love that have made this year’s journey possible.

This moment in time has all the sad qualities of preparing for a departure.  I feel like something good is coming to an end.  And something new and unexpected is about to begin.  It’s like high school graduation all over again: a small and minor event of our lives in retrospect, but a huge and important rite of passage at the time.  I feel like I should be thanking people, saying goodbyes, and wishing each other bright futures.  But at the same time, is this really the end of a journey?  Or am I over dramatizing this experience.  Is this just another diverging point of my journey on the “Jesus’ Trail?”  Maybe so…