It’s been almost three months since I entered the Novitiate. Though this is not an academic year, it is still filled with a lot of informative conferences, in which I learn more about spirituality, religious life and its vows, and many other topics. One of the major topics that the novitiate has covered in the last few months has been personality types. I have had workshops on the Myers Briggs and the Enneagram, conferences on discernment and the Ignatius examen. As skeptical as I was, I didn’t think that it was right “type” people into different categories. But upon reflecting the historical efforts of the world to understand itself, I also find these discoveries to be of help and useful.
Those who know me well will most likely be able to quickly categorize me into the right typologies. I am often the stereotypical face of these types. So why then is it important for me, as well as for others to spend great amount of energy to discover our own types? When we carefully look into the process of typology, our personality types are divided into various categories, whether that is introvert/extrovert, thinking/feeling, intuitive/sensing, or perceiving/judging in the Myer-Briggs; or as in the Enneagram, our various personality types are categorized into a complex system of 9 types, with wings and arrow theories etc. I don’t claim to know too much about any of these typologies, but my experience tells me that the typologies fundamentally point out both our strengths and weaknesses.
As stereotypical as they maybe, these types tell us a bit more about who we are. The positive qualities of these types are nice and flattering indeed, but it is the negative qualities that we ought to focus on. Not that we want to be pessimistic, but we want to be aware of our inner weaknesses. Why we behave or react negatively in certain situations. Knowing ourselves, who we are, has been a quest our ancestors have started long ago, and we as descendants are still trying to accomplish. The task of understanding the human person begins with us. We must be open to search deep within our hearts and say, this is who I am. I have sinned, and am a weak person, I am human. We don’t necessarily have to proclaim this to the world, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we ought to be able to honestly see ourselves and see the incompleteness of ourselves.
I’m not asking us to become emotionally depressing people. We should have already acknowledged our strength and gifts, and cherish them as an important part of our personal identity. But unless we’re also able to accept our weaknesses and failures, we can never grow to become a psychological and spiritually mature person.
Having gone through the different typology workshops, and having examined myself, I see that I am not perfect, and I have a lot of room for improvement. And I want to continue to struggle with myself and challenge myself. And this is the scariest thing. It is so much easier to challenge and criticize others, but to challenge and criticize ourselves, which in itself is a challenge. I know that I too often rationalize my failure and make excuses to comfort myself. But if I continue on this path, my maturation will be stunt and I will never surpass who I am today. Therefore, pray for the grace of humility to accept myself: both my strength and weaknesses. I want to be able to say thank you God for all the gifts that I have. And I want to be able to humbly ask God for the strength to face my failures and weaknesses, and continually stepping forward to improve myself.
These, to me are the values of typology. It is to know yourself better, in order to improve yourself. For if we don’t grow and mature, then we’re already dead and decaying. In the end, I want to be like an oak tree, slowly but surely growing every day, never stopping, never doubting, always facing toward the light. Through the seasons, I hope that my dead branches will fall off, to make room for new life. This way, I will one day become that deeply-rooted, majestic oak tree shimmering in the light. A tree that can withstand all the storms that life throws at me. Then, I will truly become the symbol of life for others, as God is the life source for me.